#programmer_humor

with Claudes new model we can slop up a 16th and 17th at record pace! made this in response to seeing mony.lol but figured it might do well in this sub too

Two decades ago clients assumed I was a Java developer because of my name. Today there’s a Java tool named after me ☕ 🤣 Speed, on the full configs: 3.6–5.7x faster on one thread, up to 38x on 16, and 37–400 MB of memory instead of 3–4 GB. A single file takes about 10 ms, which is the number I actually cared about, because that’s what makes it usable in a pre-commit hook.

Did you check inside the box?

🙏🙏🙏

At least let me sit

C:\Sierra\run cross-posted from: lemmy.today/post/62743547

Vibe coded Bank SMS

Programming Memes 2026: 13 Brutal Dev Jokes Coders Feel

Real money comes from a printer.

Regulated Access Memory

sigh...

Animorphs did it first

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman says its “terrible to have everybody have a bunch of the world’s limited supply of DRAM” instead of shoving it all in datacentres

C++ superiority With a bit of fiddeling you can use every kind of bracket to basically make function calls in c++ Here are the links to the snippets, all compile and run Rust: godbolt.org/z/bM3d7bG14 OCaml: godbolt.org/z/17oMv83zx C++: godbolt.org/z/9Y3WfoE1W

Fun for the whole family

Packet loss sk.girlthi.ng/notes/ameop6rl2fh6001u

Just gotta protect the family!

Unpatched!

My Colleagues really drive me crazy I got the first prototype version of the code for the project I’m currently working on. It is an Arduino Sketch, that contains 1k lines, stores every single Value needed as a global Variable and every function reads and writes to these global variables, instead of taking them in as parameters. This code is so bad, that I refuse to even look at it. The effort to take the existing codebase and transform it into something useable is as high as rewriting it from scratch. When telling my colleague that his code is absolute garbage, he just told me “its not my code, Claude did it”. I am constantly pushing towards implementing the project in a proper way, but it has been nothing but fights against people who don’t know how to code and who refuse to acknowledge that ignoring any standards of maintainable code does not turn out in the end and it makes sense to rewrite the project sooner than later.

Network All hail redundancy