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Low Quality Facts

lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social

<p>Low Quality Facts written in arguably lower quality handwriting.</p>

Posts

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    Uh oh.

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    Today&#39;s Low Quality Ad is for this Red Light Therapy Mask, on sale for 50% off. It will make your skin look flawless. And if it doesn&#39;t work, you can wear the mask at all times to hide your hideous face. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D7N2KWLH/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_YFEMRXDVPHTW3CDXMSBF?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&amp;linkId=bcbde610269691d5a93e99623581c32b&amp;gaOptInStatus=true

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    Flight is a sin (unless you&#39;re a bird).

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    Society: You guys need to stop sexually assaulting women. Fraternities, not knowing what else to do: Uhhhh okay I guess we could light people on fire then?

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    This morning&#39;s Low Quality Ad is for this Buzz Lightyear Shirt. A lot of people you know would be very offended by this shirt if they were able to read. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07S5M7MG2/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_dl_0Z04S47WA0SQ3S3N09VK?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&amp;linkId=e5a2973e3065dea991660e9f97df7521&amp;gaOptInStatus=true

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    Smart.

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    Make it the early 2000s and you&#39;ve got yourself a deal.

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    It was a huge scandal at the time.

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    Tonight&#39;s Low Quality Ad is for LEGO Botanicals Water Lilies. Pros: You can build it with your kids, teaching them to be creative. Cons: Your kids won&#39;t need to water the fake flowers, teaching them a lack of responsibility. Parenting sounds hard. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G2T26R4Z/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_PF87782NETXX0TTZKWVP?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&amp;linkId=18e939c88abc172cd6098244d2d3ce10&amp;gaOptInStatus=true

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    Aaq

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    Yum.

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    This is one of the dumbest comics we&#39;ve made.

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    That explains a lot.

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    Today&#39;s Low Quality Ad is for this &quot;Game Over&quot; Pin. Do you know why retro videogame designs always had such jagged edges and corners? It&#39;s because Republicans banned round digital shapes in 1987, fearing it was a slippery slope to virtual breasts and buttocks. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BCMXZKP/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_251P9ANA29SZ897YBTN3?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&amp;linkId=e1224cefa88d5605fb951676f0cbf627&amp;gaOptInStatus=true

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    That blows my mind.

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    This is why milk doesn&#39;t have any bones.

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    Everything else is fair game.

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    Tonight&#39;s Low Quality Ad is for Clocky, the extra loud alarm clock that runs away from you. You know, because having to wake up in the morning wasn&#39;t miserable enough already. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004MSMUGI?ref=t_ac_view_request_product_image&amp;campaignId=amzn1.campaign.SNQ2FVCED43Z&amp;linkCode=tr1&amp;tag=connorstone06-20&amp;linkId=amzn1.campaign.SNQ2FVCED43Z_1794172212818

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    I&#39;m ready, Jon.

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    Please give me a dollar a month on Patreon so I can keep making satire that is not satire. https://www.patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

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    You can&#39;t out-pizza the Hut.

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    Me: Did anyone watch the game last night? Kash Patel: If you fucked a dog, that could be the dog&#39;s fault. Me: Sorry, what? Kash Patel: Maybe the dog tricked you into having sex with it. There are bad dogs out there.

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    Today&#39;s Low Quality Ad is for the Furby Galaxy Edition. Back when I was a kid, we didn&#39;t have these crazy intergalactic Furbies. We had the original that would whisper in your ear at night that it will kill you in your sleep, and your parents refused to believe you. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CSKV4STH/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_MXYN6RJ370N7X3FZRTC5?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&amp;linkId=314dc7244112bc3d9e9c88ad143a2289&amp;gaOptInStatus=true

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    Nature is crazy.

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    Incredible.

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    Tonight&#39;s Low Quality Ad is for this Highland Cow Stuffed Animal. All cows are Highland cows, most of them are just shaved so that their white and black spotted skin is visible. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D9BXL59C/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_apa_gl_i_55YN1KQ5BEMTCNBHQRWF?linkCode=ml1&amp;tag=lowqualityfac-22-20&amp;linkId=6908f456499d5105de1129fa36ced82d&amp;gaOptInStatus=true

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    We made a comic about new tricks.

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    The stock market is a sign of a healthy economy. It only loses value when we make bad decisions, such as telling corporations that they might need to start obeying the law and be less corrupt.

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    I never would have guessed.

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    Pete Hegseth: If you try to fire me I swear to God I will retaliate by teaching this bottle of bourbon a lesson it won&#39;t forget.